Liam was really happy his mum had knitted him a new pimp outfit - he would no doubt command so much more respec' from his pimps n' whores now he had anchors on his flares.

Pattern: Pimp
Tommy looked back and giggled at the two mile traffic tailback he'd created on the M4, he didn't care - he'd discovered his teenage son's whacky backy.

Pattern: Colin Tractor
Sheila was at the end of a long day turning tricks, nervertheless she grabbed her gimp outfit, put on her best "I'm coping" smile and headed for the door.

Pattern: Tricks.

Dominic humoured his teacher's lesson in elementary chemistry, but secretly couldn't wait to get back to his meth lab.

Pattern: Chemist.
David delighted knowing that his little brother still hadn't realised he weed in his milk. Quite the reverse, he seemed to like it more.

Pattern: Milk

Shortly before they buried Flash, Annie assured her little brother that his pet tortoise really had thrown himself from the bedroom window.

Pattern: Tortoise.

Sandra agreed to, yet again, avert her eyes whilst Beverley had a discrete scratch. But, this was the last time.

Pattern: Bev & Sandra

Colin was a patient man, but if his wife didn't stop pretending she hadn't got them lost and get off the bonnet of his new car, he was going to hack her to bits and put her in the boot.

Pattern: Man & Woman lost car
The Poleheads had finalised their evil plan to take over the world. Unfortunately Mr. Blue took issue with Mr. Green about the peak to his balaclava and the operation was postponed.

Pattern: Poleheads.
Just as the photographer took her photo, Jane's mum told her that she was adopted and would never have nice hair like hers.

Pattern: Naughty Mum & Daughter
Richard was genuinely happy to finally be married to Perry, but he just knew it couldn't last if Perry didn't convert to cardigans. If Perry refused his pleas once more the gun wouldn't stay in the pocket.

Pattern: Men cardigan & jumper.
Janet just knew this menage a trois was going to be fantastic, although she had a soft spot for the green cardigan man.

Pattern: 1 wife 2 husbands.

Sophie was so pleased with the new type of LSD she had scored that day. When she clicked her fingers the clouds would wave at her.

Pattern: Sophie Cardigan
Tina believed that if she continued to force feed her son pine cones, he would eventually concede to wearing a cool booble hat like her.

Pattern: Bobble Hat & Jumpers